A for effort!
I love pink floyd dude, and its a good try and recreating the recording environment of the sixties, when this song was recorded. The lo-fi stuff is great anyway, though I think you may have overdone the distortion a bit.
this aint that bad. just get some better recording equipment!
You shouldn't muffle your voice, and maybe ya should've added background stuff in with an audio editor, you know like a drumbeat. Currently it sux, but you are better than guitar than me.
Is this serious?
You could benefit from not muffling your voice...unless its a joke...in which case its not very funny...although i laughed at the end..
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.