Hey Not too Shabby
This kind of has a Resident Evil "Typewriter Room" feel to it to me. I like it. I'm just not too big of a fan of the instrument quality. To me the fading instruments at the beginning have an off pitch cool feel to them, but the main instruments ( I can't tell if they're horns or voices :S ) sound just too fake.
And the ending dissonances were a little weird... sometimes adding some minor "eerie" chords can bring a new element to a piece as long as they still make sense in the piece. And I'm not quite sure they do. You should consider reworking the end.
This is a great start of an original piece. I'd love to hear it with a better quality program if you ever have a chance.
Keep up all the great work.