I've just heard your music today (after I heard "Fantasy Four Strings" I just had to hear the rest of your music), and you're an amazing composer. As an aspiring composer myself, I'd just like to say good luck in your field of work. You've got an insane amount of talent.
Now, onto this piece, it does a really nice job telling the story. When I read the story and then listened to it along with it, it really gave me the exact picture that you'd written down.
I'd hate to be a 16 year old giving you a critique, but maybe a quiet opening with just the main piano line fading in would sound nice even if it's a little generic? It just seems like it would fit with the fade out at the end. To be honest, it's nothing major. It sounds great both ways. It's hard to find a flaw in a piece like this.