Sounds kind of... gross.
The only reason I gave it a 5 was because im a beatboxer myself and have a soft spot in my heart for other beatboxers. That being said please listen to this advice it will make your beatboxing much better. This is from one beatboxer to another.
For the snare make a "pff" sound, or "tch" sound (like saying "touch" but taking the "ou" out of it.
For the bass you should just use a heavily emphasised "B" like how you would say the "B" in "bottle"
and last for all the other little noises in between you should go "ts" or "ksh" heres an example as best as I can manage in text form:
B ts pff ts B B ts pff ts B ts pff ts B B ts ksh B ksh B
I do sincerely hope I helped. If you would like to see some lessons go to youtube and search tyte beatbox lessons (I have no relation to him in any form whatsoever so me directing him to you is simply because he knows his shit)
add a little echoe and it might ad a better rating but its was a great idea for bordom
im giving a 9 only because its missing that echeo
and yes i misspelled lol