I agree the song isn't that bad
when it comes to melody. But the drumms are all over the place.
What would help is stick with a four to the floor beat and have some variation just with the snare. Use some hihats to fill the drums to completion.
Compress the drumms. watch a manual on youtube on compression of drumms.
7/10 4/5 for effort
Please return the favor on my new song: I wanna know ( dance mix )
the drums are absolutly terrible. the song would go well with a violin or somthing like that with more realistic back sounds to compliment it.