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listen to my s. and learn!
Drop the beep
The repeating beep type sound in the beginning really brings down the rest of the piece. I'd either remove it or replace it.
i knew it sucked i just toke a shot at it. ill make a better version sometime
It has a nice ambience, very good, feels a little choppy in the beginning. I'm not sure what you where getting at with the really deep notes but it was pretty good, maybe add a little transition to the mid part, there was a part you where kicking it than suddenly it goes back like it is the start again. It is very good, i like it though. Maybe a little more bass. :)