I'm sorry I'd have to agree with LyricalBombs.
It had a great flow to it, but it was annoying. Good attempt though.
I didn't like it. The style of it gave me a headache. You had a nice flow, but some of the instruments and notes definitely got my attention...in a bad way. The just stuck out in the song and make it sound bad. So a good effort, but a failed attempt personally, sorry. :(
7/10 and 2/5
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.