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Water of Youth

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Author Comments

GARRET: I am Doctor Garret Farnsby.
SETH: I am Doctor Seth Farnsby.
PETER: I am Peter Farnsby.
GARRET: From our father, we inherited Promos Biotechnologies.
SETH: He said to help each other so we could help others.
PETER: There was never any profit in altruism, father! Why couldn't you see that?!

GARRET: This all began about ten years ago. We'd just assumed control over the company when my wife's health began to fail. I couldn't bear losing her. I had a strange idea. I asked Seth for help.
SETH: Donating LIFE to someone--like blood or organs? I thought Garret had lost his mind! But if we pulled this off...
PETER: It didn't make sense. If it were possible, we'd be doing it already!...But then we had a volunteer.
GARRET: The process was a miracle! My wife was stronger, healthier...YOUNGER than ever!...But the donor...
SETH: For the first time, we'd killed a human being. Garret and I were horrified.
PETER: All because of that, those two shut down Promos for a week! With nothing else to do, I tracked investments and the news. There were twenty-seven death sentences that week. These days, Death Row inmates wait more than five years just to die. *pause* Why not put their wasted lives to use?
GARRET: A youth-restoring drug refined from the lives of the condemned?! Monstrous! Criminal or not, they're human beings! Peter wanted to harvest PEOPLE like a RESOURCE!
SETH: I could understand Garret's aversion to the idea. He didn't want any more blood on his hands. But if I could make this work, I didn't mind so much--since the subjects were felons.
PETER: Garret's idealism was impeding the greatest investment of the decade. Our investors and I owned more shares of the company than him, though, so WE had the final say. Plus, prisons nationwide were happy to profit from a cut of drug revenues and fewer heads to manage. The first prisoners arrived after two days. A week and 1000 inmates later, we began distributing. Marketing was difficult at first, but the drug's power swept away the initial outrage.
SETH: Peter said if Garret was so averse to killing anyone, he should go help me in the lab. I didn't see why Garret objected to using lives that'd been thrown away. It eased my mind knowing any deaths from perfecting the process would have happened anyway. But if there was one thing I didn't like, it was the idea of Peter running Promos. He was too concerned about profit to help anyone.
GARRET: For the next few months, all Seth and I could do was tweak the process. We were trying to avoid killing the donor! But no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't extract enough life force without taking ALL of it. All we did was improve efficiency, and demand outstripped supply in two weeks anyway. The drug was highly addictive in the elderly. Feeling young again was quite a high, and Peter was happy to give it to them--for a fee.
PETER: Only half a year later, the donor supply ran out. But I wasn't done yet. This opportunity was too lucrative to just fade away. I needed more. After some phone calls, our suppliers agreed to ship inmates with life sentences to stay in the game.
SETH: I was apprehensive. These people had longer to live. But then again, weren't they suffering in prison?
GARRET: It was the start of a terrible pattern.
PETER: The Water of Youth was the best thing that ever happened to Promos...and me. Within two years we were a multi-national corporation with the highest stock values in existence. Violent crime was down. And I was wealthier than ever. Just how much money could I make? I had to find out. So we became global. And expanding opened more opportunities.
GARRET: A few aging entrepreneurs were the top customers, and they were completely hooked. Every spike in sales fueled Peter's relentless hunger for profit. So then Peter reached out to 3rd-world countries in social turmoil. State-sanctioned genocide was, sadly, nothing new. But making a PROFIT off of it WAS. Couldn't Peter see what he was doing? Did he even care?
SETH: I had no idea it would become so horrible. Peter was buying and selling human

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Indeed, t he love of money is the root of all evil

Impressive... Most Impressive.

Hey pal, what's up? It's the birdman who runs High Calibur. Yeah, I've got an account on here too, though I haven't done too much with it yet. Well, since I'm here, I might as well give you your well deserved review.

Frankly, I'm impressed, pal. You really did a good job diversifying your characters voices and personality. Besides the Evil laugh (which actually wasn't that bad. I just feel you could have sold it more), this was top notch.

Next time we run a campaign, you better be vocalizing your characters as awesome as you've done here.

Thumbs up!

ArtellTheWanderer responds:

Sorry I'm just getting back to you on this one--hadn't had much of a reason to check on my work after the VA Competition was over n' done with. Thanks for all the shining praise! I gotta work on me evil laughs and get some better mixing quality going on. Hope to hang out again soon!



(((Not disqualified because this was submitted on time, but not approved on time which is against the authors ability. However, to be fair, the score will have a -3 put on it 85 - 3 = 82 in order of jennifers normal scoring rate. We think her score would have been a bit more harsher than ours, subtracting the score by abit so -3 is being generous))))

The voices do sound different, providing a wide range of "professionally: sounding voices. All of them sounded like doctors / businessmen. I was very impressed by your acting! Its arare seeing a serious skit here in the contest, so props for that. I personally find it much harder to voice act in a drama than it is to voice act in a comedy. I also found it cool that you provided a wide range of emotions. Each character thought differently of the project. I think you needed ambiance music in the background though. You also paused at the wrong times. Instead of pausing at the end of your sentences, let the recorder go on for at least 2 seconds, then stop it. This way a nice extended silence is added to each line, making it a bit more in depth and suspenseful. I liked the third person and first person narratives from each character, but you should have not introduced each character all at once. Perhaps have a reporter voice saying "Hi, I am here with one of the brothers of the blab la bla company. Tell us your name" and then ave him speak about the company in his perspective, go onto the next character and introduce him with that character speaking as to not REPEAT the "hi im speaking with..." line. There are multiple ways of using this reporter technique, and im sure you can come across them! Great acting, a little poor on mixing, nice originality, and a good range. Good job!

Acting: 28/35
Fit: 20/25
Originality: 15/15
Range: 14/15
Mixing: 5/10
Total: 82/100


Acting: 34/35
Fit: 24/25
Originality: 15/15
Range: 12/15
Mixing: 7/10
Total: 92/100

Damn... that's refreshing. I cant help but think it's been done before but since I can't recall where, it's getting big originality points. I enjoyed the whole "everyone's a narrator" approach to storytelling.
Now the mixing was kinda lacking... there were hard pops and hisses that were too frequent to slip by, some music would've been a really nice touch too.
Water of Youth is awaiting moderator approval-let me know when it's posted and I'll review.

ArtellTheWanderer responds:

Thanks for the reviews! I'm a newborn baby when it comes to using a mic and recording professionally, so I didn't really know how to cancel the pops and clicks, or know how to properly space my lines. I would've liked to have put in music as well, but I only heard about the contest about a week and a half before the deadline, so I was rushed on this particular project.
I like the suggestions you've made, and I'll keep them in mind for the next one. I'm hoping that next time--school assignments and surprises permitting--I will have a much more professional submission with music and maybe even sound effects. I'm grateful for this opportunity to put myself out there and try to show my talents! Looking forward to the next big thang.

Nice, but

Work on your Evil Laugh.

Only request

ArtellTheWanderer responds:

Heh, yeah, that laugh at the end came out a bit weirder than it usually does. I would've redone it but I was rushed for time for the Voice Acting contest deadline. I'll see what I can do about that next time. Hope you liked it!

Credits & Info

Waiting for 4 more votes

Feb 6, 2010
12:03 AM EST
Voice Demo
File Info
4.6 MB
5 min 1 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.