The melody and tune is excellent, but it seriously needs mastering. The intro is a little long, which gets people impatient, especially since it isn't heavy metal. The drums are faint, and the cymbals, if that's what they are, are too high and frequent, also of bad quality, you might wanna replace them. Hurts the ears.
The background is also a little too loud than the melody flow itself at some parts, sounds pretty conflicting.
Hope to see an improved version uploaded :)