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iR* "Made of Clay" =revision=

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Author Comments

I changed a few things: Took out horns and added different synths.

for more of my stuff (www.myspace.com/ mobarrettsounds) w/o the space :)
_________________________
______
Made of Clay lyrics by Mo Barrett (aka me)

I get by on those lonely days
I rewind the things that happened yesterday
I'll go out of my way to prove that I'm right
If you do the same there'll be a fight

We used to mold the clouds
Everything was made of clay
Pick off from where you left off
Cut me open and see the gray

I have dreams about a certain man
And this man resembles my dad
In my dream I gouge out his eyes
Could I really do this in real life?

We used to mold the clouds
Everything was made of clay
Pick off from where you left off
Cut me open and see they gray.

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Not bad, but needs a bit of work.

The vocal track seems to be fine. The song structure is solid, but there seems to be some distressing missteps with the organ synth.
The acoustic guitar line needs to be brought up quite a bit, especially when it's by itse;f as you can barely hear it.

Good work, but keep tweaking and it could be really good indie stuff.

Iranarama responds:

Thanks for the great feedback :)

As I have no formal training in music or recording, I am slowly getting there...I just have to learn to polish things...which is something I am not good at.

Credits & Info

Author

Listens
652
Downloads
41
Score
Waiting for 4 more votes

Uploaded
Jan 20, 2010
1:37 AM EST
Genre
Indie
File Info
Song
3 MB
3 min 18 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.