--The intro sounds are pretty neat, but they go on for too long by themselves. Try to mix it up with some subtle changes.
--The building menace of the later intro is pretty sweet, but the fakeness of the lead sound threw me off. Try to make something a little more realistic in later versions, m'kay? I like the concept, but the sound's missing the target. If you're using a real guitar and did something to make it sound like that, it would be a good idea to change it in later drafts.
--When everything comes together, it sounds fantastic! Try a little mix-fixing, though, as the high registers are a little to loud.
--When you switch from the main melody to that noise part, the drums are a little too loud--once again, some mixing would be a good idea.
--Those drums go on for too long, too.
--I like the big finish that comes back to the beginning, although it gets a little messy at points.
Wow, thanks for all the suggestions. I'll be sure to work on it.