You've got a good outline here, but I think you need to practice your mastering and mixing, namely in your sampling. The piano and drums and that jazz were all really great, but the scratching and weather fx really needed some blended. If you were going for harsh dissonance you definitely got that, but for some reason I don't think that was really your intention. The scratching was especially awkward sounding. I'm not sure if it was because the sample you used was at a very different tempo than the song or if it was just way too loud, but it definitely needed some work.
Keep practicing man, you've got a lot of potential :) Refine what skill you have and show Newgrounds how classy hip-hop can sound!