For a first effort I think this came out really well. Personally I think it may be better suited as a loop than a song - that is to say you remove the pause at the end and tweak it to just keep the thing moving full circle. The distortion part at around 1:15 may need to be tweaked a bit as well, since it seems just slightly out of place with the feel of the song at that point. Beyond that it sounds just fine to me, I could easily see it in some cyberpunk game or anime towards the beginning of the adventure. :)
its not bad. for one i would lower the volume of that fx at 1:15. JESUS. xD
the percussion isnt bad. depending on the song it could be sharper or less. For this, i would suggest a little sharper. its good in the intro, but then it mellows out a little(which isnt bad), but i would go back to the sharper beat a little sooner. maybe.
but i think what it really needs is to open up the rough synth like at 2:03 and keep that for a bit. but it depends on what you want. This is more ambient and that being said this is really good! besides the fx that are too loud ;)
Your way better at DnB than I am
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.