... has lots of background noice in it, thats what hits me at first.
The highpitche vox is, like mbm said, not a good idea.
There is lots of empty space floating around, that, in my opinion, should be used up.
Guitar later on IS out of tune, but there are a couple of interesting stuff going on there.
Keep on experimenting though, thats what i mainly like with this song!!!
I like the swelling guitar intro, but then goin into the high-pitched chipmunk vox isn't a good idea. I would keep the vocals normal and add some simple acoustic backing to them. The lyrics are ok, but a bit contrived. The guitar that comes in later on is out of tune(get yerslef an electric tuner, god knows what i would do without mine:), but you play some interesting riffs. I would recommend that u either keep the riffs simpler, something you can play with fluidity, or spend time practising what u are gonna play beforehand. Potential to be made into a song, just needs some more thought.
I like the little riff at the end with the guitar. Nice lyrics, but don't know how I feel about the pitching of the vocals and there's a bit of background fuzz on there that you coulda probably got rid of, but overall nice effort.
I'm glad you liked it! The guitar part at the end was an improv. I myself liked the reversed guitar at the beginning. It sounded great and was used as a great build-up.
I wrote the lyrics when I was high (hence the name) the lyrics are probably the most creative lyrics I have ever wrote. The lyrics are:
The birds are flying to the treetop
Up the little willows
I think I'm gonna go in crazy
It's been a prank's joint
Up and down the low point
The disease is hidden in my sleeve
My mission, go and retrieve
The illness in my blood
I'm hanging out at my exit
No-one comes in
Thank you for the review!