As I say, "Make those emotions music"
Its too bad your xbox died. Perhaps that is why the lead was looping and loud and maybe purposefully annoying? Not trying to be harsh...work on your melodies and adjust the levels of the mix. I like the breakdown at 2:22, thats a cool sound. Sorry about your XBOX tho; my bro buys and fixes broken xbox's and also does repairs for ppl-feel free to PM me for info.
Keep workin on music and learning.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.