Get some atmospherics in ya!
Also get some better guitar and bass sounds. THOSE NEED TO BE YOUR TOP EFFING PRIORITIES!
That said, composing shows a great deal of skill, except for the samey drum part which needs less cymbal, and more hi hat work.
Love and peace.
yea this is just my ruff draft i never do the proper4 version for newgrounds, 90%of the people just want to blam me