I like the instruments involved, but the song doesn't seem to have a real structure. Try what I did when I first started out: If you're having trouble making a consistent melody, try setting up some percussion first and then add the melodies on top of it. If something doesn't follow a good beat, then it will be really obvious.
I see what you mean. I made this tune at near random. I have major trouble setting up good percussion, and get frustrated with my work fairly fast.
Thanks for the review.