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Stigmata of the Weak 2009

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This is an improved version of my 2008 song "Stigmata of the Weak", featuring improved sound mixing, better sound effects and instrumentation and extended length. Since I feel I've come a long way as a composer, I felt I had to take what was at the time one of my best songs and update it to what I always knew it should sound like, but never had the means or the skill to give it the epic scope it deserved.

Comments from the old NG submission regarding the song : " A friend of mine wrote a poem. It was just a draft but it was really good. So good that I felt inspired to compose a theme for it. The poem expressed feelings of abandon and solitude and was very powerful. The basic theme regarded human weakenesses and an utopian society that kills those it regards as weak to cleanse humanity of imperfection. The poem described such a ceremony in which a girl sentenced to be killed for being a weak human being is buried alive, with her hopes and dreams shattered. Unfortunately I don't have the poem so you'll just have to imagine it."

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>listened to your works and found them very creative.
>this one has a very unique style and blending.
>carefully arranged
>i like the flow and instruments used

this is perfect!

popraz responds:

Thank you !


Your music is always so refreshing <3

Keep t up I always listen to your stuff and its always unique, thats what I like. It also has such fantasy in it, if that makes sense.

popraz responds:

Thank you !

wow,its wonderful.....

With same tune and the same title of the old and this new u have made, i can see the difference much. With this song i can feel every melody like a different kinds of emotions or the feeling of the girl at the poem trying to explain how she felt or happened...this is really a one wonderful piece...haha now i feel inspired too , anyway its a great piece and hope u do more. ^_^ I wish i can read that poem and listening on this music at the same time.

popraz responds:

Thank you very much ! I wish I had the poem too, it would have helped with creating an image.

Very good composition

Ahhh bugger, now I have a reputation as a reviewer to uphold. Darn, didn't see that one coming.
Don't worry, I enjoy it, most of the time :P.

Make no mistake, the composition of this piece is excellent and has improved a good deal from the previous iterations. You have a very high quality work here, and the soundscape is excellent.

You've obviously spent a lot of work at it, and I can already tell that your attitude as a musician is to constantly improve your craft, something I cannot give you enough credit for.

That said, what comes next could seem harsh. I'm not entirely sure what's next, but I've got a feeling I'm not going to be merciful about those extra 2 points...

You've obviously read previous reviews I've done, perhaps of your pieces, perhaps not, I cannot remember things from five minutes ago (literally) let alone what I might have reviewed ages ago. But I digress, you can take some good advice from some of those reviews (particularly the longer ones), advice that I probably won't include here. That said, I've very rarely covered the topic of relevance, and I've taken Danman87 up on that, something I believe to be quite important in a piece.

Hmmm, I'd better phrase this better.

The piece ain't relevant to the subject matter, ie, what's up in that post. Obviously you were aiming for a particular set of themes, however, I think you missed the target. This is part of the reason I usually discribe what the music evokes after completing it, not before. Music is a shifty thing, it changes, it's liquid, never quite the same each time. What we aim for in the beginning isn't always what ends up. To do that, one has to be particularly disciplined the whole project through, harshly critiquing their own work and making sure that it carries the correct tone.

This usually requires time off, preferably listening to other music while you're at it. As going away and forcefully wiping the short term memory of the piece from your head lets you come back later with a fresh pair of eyes. This is relevant in most artistic endeavours. In painting, for example, rotating the image (if possible) 90 degrees can pick out problems almost immediately.

This piece evokes a sense of desolation and darkness. Solitude as well. So if that was what you were aiming for, spot on.

But it does not evoke particularly strong feelings of sorrow and loss, which are often associated with abandonment.

The main issue is that there is not a strong melody to the piece, it doesn't have a particularly strong theme to it. For an example of what I mean by melody, check Lilium, which is the main theme from Elfen Lied, one of the few anime's I've watched and not switched off halfway through episode 1. If you can handle graphic nudity, blood and gore and highly adult content, I'd recommend it to you highly, as it is a quality piece of work in general production design, music, and particularly storyline. There are some very powerful themes in that short series.

I digress, the melody of the main theme is simple and elegant. But is particularly useful from an artistic perspective, as it still contains powerful emotion, even in it's simplest form, a music box song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF4S3L li6pM&feature=related

In case the music box doesn't sound, check it in this one, starts at about 2.20 onwards:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozgXPZ h7g8g&feature=related

Your piece lacks an overarching theme, it's more of a soundscape then a song. As a result, it's less powerful. It doesn't evoke strong emotion. Which is always the musician's aim. Giving the piece a simple melody, from which you expand and build upon, would be far more effective.

Furthermore. We remember it. It sticks in your head. You can forget a soundscape, but a simple melody? I think not.

For the exercise, create a song using just a glock, or similar instrument.

Oh dear, running out of words again.

The piece was good. Everything well put together. But it had no defining icon. Nothing we can hum. And thus, we forget.

Good luck Krayon

popraz responds:

Well, actually, this is the first time you've ever reviewed one of my songs. And I'm not disappointed. In fact, I could have used more reviews like this in the past. Indeed, the sense of desolation, darkness and solitude were my main aims, but I agree I might have lost something from my original intentions in the process, probably because I focused too much on the soundscape. Unfortunately the URL's you gave me don't work, but I think I understand what you mean. Thank you for the awesomely thorough review !


I didn't think Stigmata could sound better than it did, but you proved me wrong. It is very good and it is much more sophisticated - it shows how much you've evolved. Keep up the good work!

popraz responds:

Thank you very much ! I appreciate the kind words.

Credits & Info


4.94 / 5.00

Sep 30, 2009
5:52 AM EDT
File Info
6.3 MB
4 min 35 sec

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