you got the melody down perfect! but your missing heavy bass, the kind that really kicks and makes a room vibrate. If theres one thing i can say is that this melody put into a hardcore thumping club song, would be absolutley amazing. It's so sad because i can hear this melody with those incredible effects. Listen to some german stuff like The Real Booty Babes, and the bass that Vibestyler (like his song w.g.i.d.d) uses here on newgrounds and you'll know what i mean. Get this melody into something that sounds like that? and you'll be rocking this genre!