Sounds to be promising...

...if you didn't use the cheesy General Midi instruments.
A suggestion:
- Find and download "Synthfont"
- Get some good drumset Soundfont files
- Get a good bass Soundfont file
- Get a good guitar Soundfont (preferably a clean one)
- Run the guitar track through a guitar amp VST (such as Free Amp 3)

But pretty good composition dude. I'll give you that. :)