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Credits & Info

Aug 9, 2009 | 3:45 AM EDT
File Info
1.9 MB
2 min 6 sec
3.97 / 5.00

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Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.

Rated 3.97 / 5 stars
Plays & Downloads:
23,503 Plays | 646 Downloads
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Hip Hop, Rap, R&B - Hip Hop - Modern

Author Comments

Just another story. I spent a decent time trying to mix/master this song. It's still not that good, but atleast I'm trying now! Kudos to some amazing music by YunVeroz: Serial (remove the space) /audio/listen/195819

Edit: Fooled around with some volumes. The background vocals were aggravating me too... Hope they're slightly better now!

EditEdit: Word, top 'o the charts! Thanks fellas (it's NG, I know you're all fellas)! My comp crashed and I've lost the original recording of this so I can't make changes, but I do appreciate all feedback and will use it on future productions. Make sure you check out YunVeroz if you like this, he's got loads of quality stuff, it's mindboggling.

My man Jones came from a broken home,
At the age of fifteen he was living all alone,
Had to eat to survive so he stole all the time,
From the young and the old and the deaf and the blind,
And the cops didn't find it funny,
Poor dummy gotta make your own money,
If you wanna stop running,
But he kept on gunnin,
He started havin fun,
And pretty soon he was locked in cell 21.

Didn't stay long cause he was only a kid,
But Jones hadn't learnt his lesson from the time that he did,
Tried to fit in with the cool kids, messin up his school grades,
Only thing he wanted was respect like the movies,
But cinemas not the best parental figure,
And his mind needed guidance from somebody who had been there,
Try to teach him morals stead of screamin with the chorus of,
Not our problem, someone deal with him for us,
Poor us, we got problems of our own.

So, alone Mr Jones roamed homes,
Slept beneath the stars on the street,
Where the cars all beep,
Cause they all got somewhere to go,
Jones, hated laughs cause he wasn't included,
Wouldn't talk shit cause he couldn't refute it,
Learned to blend in, tried to take as he please,
Wasn't ever gonna beg for money down on his knees,
Cause he wasn't a bum.

But then again a bum he would become,
Jones never finished school and he slept in a slum,
Now you're probably expecting some kind of a break,
Jones'll find a mistake in his mis-woven fate,
But no, he never found his only golden ticket,
Never came around pity for a lonely sick kid,
In fact it's almost like he never existed,
He died under a bridge and no one missed him.

And the cars still beeped, and the people still shook,
Took two weeks to find him cause nobody looked,
Jones was buried in a cemetery, barely remembered,
In a world of people just as dead as him.



Rated 4.5 / 5 stars


I love the lyrics, and the background music was really nice althought it went on a bit too long at the end for me but apart from that. I really like this.

BigRed responds:



Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Pure awesomenes

This was just awesome. I dont like rap over all but this song was just beautiful. But why I'm not giving you a 10 is that the ending is just a little flat you know. But over all is awesome !!!!

BigRed responds:

The ending was flat on purpose, just to bug you! :D


Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

I like what I'm hearing

First off, good job Big Red. I think this song could use some work but so far I really like what I see. You have the right feeling in your voice and a good pensive rhyme scheme. You could look over the words cleaning things up adding some more canny quirks.
The biggest thing to look at though is getting a chorus in with some good melodies and maybe some sick emotional singing. Because no matter how good the rap is, people's ears can get tired pretty quick so the chorus is your perfect chance to jazz it up.
Right now all you have is harmonies, rap, and a beat. There are those that can lay out some better melodies for you, but like you said you are improving.
It was nice of you to give a shout out to YunVeros and maybe you could ask to collab with him.
Like I said, I like what I'm hearing. So best of luck, and keep it up.
7/10 for improvement
5/5 for effort

BigRed responds:

See, I didn't want to put a chorus in this one, I wanted it to be more of a poem than a cohesive song. And I would love to collab with YunVeroz one of these days, although I'm under the impression that he doesn't do it much. Some day maybe!


Rated 4 / 5 stars

good not perfect

Very much words but less music
Work at this

BigRed responds:

Will do dog!


Rated 5 / 5 stars


I gotta admit, I usually despise rap. Hate it, loathe it, spit at it. But this song was amazing. It had a great message, and the last line (although it didn't rhyme at all) had a crushing message. Definitely one of the most influential songs I've heard in a while.

BigRed responds:

You're not listening to the right rap! There's a whole world of intelligent-thought-provoking-musical ly-beautiful hip hop out there just waiting for you! I'm glad you liked this one!