The only real problem is that the theme this is based off of is so simplistic and predictable, that the nice variations here have really nowhere to go. The piano work is fine, although you can see a few things coming, but the chord progression of the main theme has been done so many times that this could be variations on any NUMBER of themes. Turn on the radio any day and I bet you that at least one you'll find something that sounds similar to this.
This does not knock your production or playing skills, nor does it knock your creativity as a composer. But the unfortunate truth is that this sounds like a lot of different songs, which makes it hard to tell your piece from someone else's.
The piano work is fine, it's just that you are working with a very cliched melody/chord progression.