good try

u need to master it. the quality is really low too. but its a okay song. just needs work. compression and side chaining would help the loudness and equalize the track. unless u want like that lol. it sounds like someone is driving by me everytime it gets loud. GL on ur next peice

Not bad at all!

This is an awesome piece! you should make more like this, man!

My take

Progressive, in every sense of the word. I think a hook melody overlaying the whole track could make it even better. Keep at 'er!