Interesting melody. I suppose it definitely coincides with your author comments.
Your drums are definitely too low for my taste, and the use of the chimes (is that what they are?)... idk. I'm not sure if that's a tom you threw in there (see 1:49) for the quarter hit, but... well... I don't want to hear it. At least, not as much as I currently am...
It seems like you just kinda picked random sounds for this.
Good melody though. No doubt about that.