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Dr. Phanan

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Author Comments

My entry for the Voice acting contest by FatKidWitAJetPack. /for those who want to follow along or havew a hard time hearing:
Dr. Phanan
This is the story of Doctor Ton Phanan, a story set in the STAR WARS universe. The events of his allergic-to-bacta existence. Dr. Phanan is allergic to bacta, a ubiquitious healing substance. In fact, the only common healing substances.
Let us join Ton at 4 years old, the first time he skins his knee and this unfortunate ailment is discovered...

Ton: Swingy Swingy Swingy Swingy WHAA!
<Crunch> Whaaaa! Whaaaa! Ma! Motherrr!
Mother: Oh dear. Hold tight sweetie, I'll run get a bacta bandage.
<Clomp Clomp Clomp>
There there.
<Slap, Sssssssssssssssss>

Events like this left Phanan physically very tough. But his body could always heal on it's own. In his desire for wealth, he pursuied medicine as a career. Many incidents similar to this one occured:

Professor: I cant beleive you! Spilling a valuable infected bacta sample!
Mon Cal Student: Forginve me sir. I have no excuse.
Professor: Clean this up, before Phanan gets here; We have a class here in three minutes.
Ton: OK, for once on time, its TOOOONNNNN PHHHHAA
<Slip, Splash>
Mon Cal Student: Are you alright?
Ton: The paaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnnnnnnn.

His medical career would end in a flash aboard the frigate Redemption at the battle of Endor. Without casualties yet, He listened in on the comm system:

Lando: Home One this is Gold Leader.
Ackbar: We saw it. All craft, prepare to retreat.
Lando: We won't get another chance at this Admiral.
Ackbar: We have no choice General Calrissian, Our Cruisers can't repel firepower of that magnitude!
Mon Cal: Admiral, we have enemy ships in sector 27!
Ackbar: ITS A TRAP!

This, of course, caused a panic.

Girl: Dr Phanan! We should leave.
Dr. Phanan: Ok. The escape pod lines are over here!
<Stomp stomp stomp>
Girl: Are you sure you want to stand beneath that unsecured tank?
Dr. Phanan: Its stable. Besides, if we move, we lose this spot!
<Kaboom, clank splash>
Dr. Phanan: oh god.

He woke up in surgery. Massive slices of flesh had been removed by shrapnel during the battle. Heavily medicated, he inquired as to his body status.
Dr. Phanan: whwif cantspt ififi feeble hafffflf ny fzxzxz?
Doctor: Well, you are missing half your face. Here's a mirror.
<Scare music, scream!>

Later the next day he was told by that same doctor about another injury.

Doctor: In addition, your abdomen was damaged.
Phanan: Bad?
Doctor: Quite bad.
Phanan: Am I... well, you know.... is my... thing... functonal?
Doctor: We couldn't find it. It has been replaced with a mechanical. Your testicles are there, but they will have to stay suspended in fluid like a pair of turtles.


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Credits & Info


1.98 / 5.00

Jun 12, 2009
9:08 PM EDT
Voice Demo
File Info
4.7 MB
5 min 8 sec

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.