you did it pretty well the only things that would of made it better for me are
1) better transitions between verses and chorus
2) The kick should of been more distorted and had alot more bass for hardstyle also reverb would have made it nice =].
3!!!!) ok this would have bumped it up to a ten it was really plain when you just had the percussions and the lyrics going, you should have had a pad in the background or a sweeper of some sort.
could you tell me the tempo on this so i can fix that and slap it on my ipod?
ya, if your talking about bpm it was 140, and thanks for the review, i was still figuring out the master mixer and automation, im currently working on a hardcore song and hopefuly it will be alot better than this, and yeah i know i need base, i just always forget it xD