I like it A LOT. I am sure that you will be better later on. Since I'm not really a music expert, I don't have that much a trained ear. I don't hear many bad things.
I am really sure that the person you wrote this for is going to LOVE it very much.
Love your music,
DAng( you know who)
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.