I love how you said, (scoffs at own stupidity.) Made me laugh sir.
As for the song, it alright. I don't listen to much Meshuggah. I think Mnemic does a way better job at mass syncopation. But that is a topic for another day.
So I can't really say if I think it sounds much like Meshuggah, cause I really don't know. As the song goes though, I like it. The syncopation is what I'm guessing you took as influence from Meshuggah on this song.
I think it is a little too repetitive. Some of the riffs are syncopated, but they tend to repeat themselves every 2 bars. I do know that the syncopation style used by both Meshuggah and Mnemic does not repeat so quickly. And therefore is much harder to follow. Because if you extend the riffs out longer, then the syncopation has the possibility of becoming beyond complicated.
I am not fond of the one crash or high hat it is you hit on the downbeat around the 2:00 mark. Really odd sound. The guitar sounds great as far as the distortion goes. I like it a lot.
So I say good job, but extend the riffs. That should help you get a more "Meshuggah-ish" sound. Definitely on the right track though.
4/5 and 8/10 overall.