I agree

I agree with mythicmonsters.
You just play the music... No real feeling, just some effects, drums and notes stuffed into a song. It isn't bad, normally I'd give a 5 but it's your first, so here's a 7.

two thumbs up!

I've listen to it over 5 times! .. and counting

Keep trying

It's good for a first attempt.
Here's a few tips...
1. You need to change stuff, it sounds the same all the way through.
2. It feels hollow, it just doesn't have any feeling. Don't worry that will probably change with practise.
3. Insperation, did you have any insperation for it? It can realy change the heart of a song.