I'm a band geek (Trumbull High Marching Band, in CT) and I was JUST listening to jenova, and thinking how awesome it would be as a field show. Then I pop on the internet, and boom, there it is.
That aside, I do have some thoughts. Like the guy said before, the flutes/clarinets are too loud. I play flute, and sometimes I can't even hear myself on the field, especially if I'm next to the drum line or trumpets.
As my band teacher says, layer the voices, just like the food pyramid. The bases should be on the bottom (tuba and bari sax) and should be the bulk of the sound, and the flutes should be resting on top.
The drum parts could use some improvement, although I'm tentative to say that, because I have no idea how to write music.
Turn up the vibraphones a touch, I can barely hear them.
The one thing that upsets me the most is the trumpet part, because they should have more, y'know, balls. But, again, I never worked with a music writing program before so I don't know how you'd improve that.
The call and response part (I hope you know what I mean by that) in the middle of the song, where the flutes make a statement and the trumpets answer, I think that you should have a mellophone instead of a flute playing the call part. And, if possible, make the trumpets sound more harsh there, as well. Whenever I listen to the origonal, the electronic trumpet part sounds like it's flipping off the more mellow flute part.
I know I have a lot of criticism, but I don't mean it in a harsh way. I enjoyed hearing this.