hmm...

the background sound would be a little bit louder...
nice submission though!

I dont usually listen to this sort of stuff

I don't usually listen to House or Dance music much.
However there were some good musicological techniques used. Your different sections do flow well which is something a lot of people struggle with doing. I liked the increase in texture (layers of different sounds)
The peice built quite well and there were some interesting sound effects.
Again i would have to recomend you play around a little more with your EQ's and try adding some Reverb to some of your plugins, what program do you use?

Try adding a little bit of low end to your bass instruments and removing the very low end of ALL your other instruments. That will help bring the bass out in your mix, plus most rhythm instruments dont even need the very lowest frequencies.

There were good musical ideas in this peice, so what really sets it back is the quality of the production, which does sound weak. But practice practice practice and your peices will sound more proffesional.