ok.. well the beginning sounds like someone hitting a nail into the wall
The gated synth sounds pretty nice
then around the 1 minute mark the change didn't quite fit
the voice sounded ok the first couple times..
i know this is a demo but, i would say for your finished version too give it more density......the song overall feels empty or hollow
Sorry I'm going to have to be really critical.
There is a huge difference between individual parts in the song. It feels like a lot of them don't fit together at all.
For example, at 1:01 it seems like a completely new song started. I think you should probably think of a way to move into the next section less abruptly.
Also it seems really repetitive between transitions.
You could make the the percussion a bit more varied and lively.
I really didn't like the background sound effect that came in around 1:20. It's just so weird and didn't really seem to fit musically. Maybe it's just me.
Now I did like when the main melody came in the beginning at around 0:19. I thought it was cool.
I didn't mind the vocals.
You could definitely add more synths in the background to layer the sounds, instead of just having a melody playing at any given time.
Hope this helps.
This demo wasn't to my taste sorry, but i hope my criticism helps.