Needs work. But I guess that's why it's a demo. Usually demo's are supposed to get you excited for the release of the actual song. I'm sorry to report that this demo did not get me very excited. Certainly not your best work (In my opinion). We'll see what this develops into and then I may feel differently.
I notice you like starting off songs with a nice kick/cymbal hit that fades into the beginning of the song. One of your trademarks I suppose. As it stands right now, it doesn't really work for this song. The melody is...well, meh.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! by the way, lol.
I hope you're able to turn this into something great and turn me wrong, it wouldn't suprise me. You're one of my favorite NG artists for a reason after all! Side-note: Your last song, Above the Clouds...DUDE! I can't stop listening to it. You said you were gonna revisit that when you got your new computer? PLEASE DO! It's my favorite song of yours.
Well, that's my review. Hope it helps, as all reviews should.