Ouch. That synth at the beginning was too much to make it through. You should keep high pitched noises like that quiet and in the background. Never start a beat like that.
Good start... but...
I feel like it could flow better. The beat gets good by 1:00, but the shrillness makes me want to shut it off before 30 seconds. Bring that down an octave or two. Also the robotic sounds are interesting, but I don't know if they fit with the sound you establish in the beginning. Also, your samples are way too loud in comparison to your drums. Either that or they are just so shrill and jarring that it seems that way. In general, none of your samples match or sound remotely well with eachother. In time you will get an ear for what sounds well together and what doesn't.
It's very repetitive also. Even just a slight variation once in awhile would be very welcome. Unfortunately because of how shrill it is, its hard to give detailed advice on how to improve your melody, but I think I know what sound you were going for with this and the sample you chose is close, but definitely not it.
Nice start, I'd like to see a refined version. :D
thanks for the advice. it seems like I know what I want but I just cant find the way to get it right, and i hear that im very repetitive in my other songs 2. I will try to make my songs better according to your advice and maybe ill just remake my old ones that got bad ratings. Once again thanks alot for the tips :]