Too little, too fast, too overran.
I think you're into the more darkcore drum'n'bass, because those drums were way too fast, the little guitar bass riff complimented the drums in thier orgasmic run off, but it supplied little bass and wasn't on too well, but I kind of get the effect you wanted with it.
The chords did not compliment the guitar bass riffs, with that whole going off thier own way, and I couldn't hear it too well.
Don't be ashamed of the drum, let it come out, you need all the flavor of the drums or the song isn't anything.
For a short, basic, dysfunctional Drum'n'Bass, it's not exactly the median between good and bad, but it's good for a beginner. I just don't see any sparks with futher material until you learn to master the funk like you did with Hollow World.