Not quite bad
but I'm afraid you have a few timing mistakes there - and the mixing is quite awful :P but the ideas are nice.
Just re-record that thing, damnit and spend some more time on the level balancing.
I honestly don't know anything about level Balancing or Mixing, I Can Fix the timing, though.
I'll re-record this, and a lot of other stuff later, and I promise I will spend more time than just single takes ! :3
Thank you for your Review, <3 you!