Not enugh verity
Bro hes right its the same voice over and over. It wasn't "BAD" per say but you need more verity in your voice over; And it sounds like you dubed it at a low level don't be afraid to dub at a higher level then that it wont be over modulated if its up ten more DB.I work in Television and I do audio stuff every day. just bring it up a tad it'll sound loads better!
Quit. Or otherwise get characters. Through out this entire "demo" you used the same voice over and over again. Nothing changed. You used the same background soundtrack. You have no emotion whatsoever.
The same audio track was just for background music. And the different voices were definently there, I don't know what you were listening to. Clearly there was voice-emotion, but I wouldn't expect you to know because after looking at your profile, I didn't see any of your own work.
So sit down, shut up, or quit life.
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.