Finally getting to make that Nietzlawe play list, and here i find what you sounded like on 2004/2005, 10 years, damn does time passes.
My man you need to get back to rap, is true all of which TheEyeOfMusiK and Stickman91 said here, and i don't know yet if you got any better, however this is quite good, it could do with a little more rage on it i wonder what i will find next? this got way more interesting faster than expected.
It was back in the day when I loved rap, and was heavily influenced. I can listen to the track now and see a bit of naivety, but my intended point remains the same.
I have always found it easy to write lyrics, but the rapping part, I never really felt comfortable with it after a while. It felt a bit forced and I would struggle with breath control and aspects like that. Then I started falling out of love with any kind of music that featured vocals and started listening to solely instrumentals.
It was really a period of experimentation and discovery, but never became the route I wanted to pursue. Ultimately, I just wanted to write and that's it.
I will say this I do not really care for Hip hop / Rap, but this man did a really great job and a clear message of how screwed up this world is! I will give this a 10/10 because I actually listened to it several times. Keep it up.
Thank you very much, I tried my best to convey my feelings at that time, it doesn't seem that much has changed in the ways of the world, it is still messed up. But there is nothing stopping each of us from setting an example, maybe it will eventually be contagious enough to revolutionise the planet.
Could do with more emotion, but still excellent!
The message here is loud and clear, and for a piece like this, that's the most important thing. The beat is great too; it's gloomy, gritty, and sets the mood perfectly for the lyrics.
Your vocals are very good, although I think they could've done a bit more in the way of showing your feelings. I can tell that you're angered by the imbalance of power and privilege in society, but I want to hear you express that anger with more force and flow! The song as a whole definitely could've benefited if you had put more emphasis on certain words and phrases. In future endeavors, you may also want to try employing a wider variety of voice inflections to really spice things up.
That said, you did a excellent job of slowly building up what rage you had until you climaxed and started settling down about thirty seconds before the song's end - an excellent distribution of emotion, in my opinion. I love how you start off with mild-mannered complaints regarding the government, and as you go on, begin to shout about crime and get more personal. And I especially love the way elements are gradually added to the beat as your emotions grow stronger.
I also noticed that as the song progresses, the word "you" becomes more and more frequent, and I think that, combined with an increasingly dramatic melody and a more forceful attitude, is a superb way to gradually engage listeners.
Overall, you did a great job with this, and I hope you continue developing your skills and creating bigger and better works!
This undoubtedly, is the best review I have received thus far for this song. You have given me plenty of food for thought, or maybe I'm just hungry. But on a serious note, I appreciate the depth and analysis you have gone to, there are some really constructive points that I can take in for future reference.
I actually made this song around the 2004/2005 period, thus making it seem like a very old song now in retrospect. Around that time, I used to be a very political person, read all the Michael Moore books, followed all the conspiracy theories and stuff like that. I wouldn't say I was angry back then, it was probably more a mixture of frustration and despair at not being able to change the world. I would even go as far as to describe sections of the lyrics naive now, at the time you just say what you feel, but when you get older you learn to become more stoic, more refined in your thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
As well as having that stance, I remember it being a time when all the people around me were worrying about trivial little matters and I just wanted to make a song that reflected the changes of that era, it was post 9/11 and that event created a lot of mistrust and made the world feel a little darker to me.
I agree that there is a little feeling lacking, but I was pretty new to rapping at the time, maybe a little tense and I didn't really find a suitable emotional inflection or take the time to re-rehearse the vocals. I know in the future how to add punch to the vocals, make them jump out at the listener more, I think my writing skills have also evolved too now, so the album I'm developing should be fascinating and hopefully a worthy representation of the toughest period in my life.
The deliberate use of the word 'you' is something I have heard in songs before, not always using the word 'you,' but usually a word that they want to reinforce into the mind of the listener. I wanted to feel like I was actually talking to people and saying that everything that I'm talking about affects the people.
I felt a lot happier since ditching political thinking. I like to emit different vibes out into the world these days, I'd rather smile and inspire others, none of us need to be negative, this song was at a time when I did think negatively all the time about everything. I could never bring myself to make another political song ever again, it would be like taking a step backwards.
You have some flow I can give you that. You manage to deliver your lyrics right but theres something about your voice and its not the accent neither.. you need a lil more swag and character when rappin, ya know? Overall you had flow on the track but at times it sounded like you had to force some words in. That can throw you off at times as well. The vocal quality could be a bit better too I guess. The tracks decent for someone who's experimenting in this genre. interesting indeed bruh
Oh and the beat was different.. sounds grimey. thats wuzzup mayne. keep at it
I love the true review, that's what I like, I always need someone to deconstruct what I do and pick holes in it, then next time I'll be able to improve on it. All of your points are valid though, good suggestions.
i mean,just look at what they wrote...
i dont usualy check the audio portal,and i didnt know you made these...
but damn...anything i write cant compare to them...these are real critics....
but for my taste,10/10...
You're worthy of being on the panel. Everyone is worthy if they realised it.
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