Wow, you really expanded on this piece. The second part you added really changed the mood (I feel like this captain is shipwrecked on an island). Also, the ending really kinda gave hope to the feel of the piece. The whole time it was rather sad and towards the end it was like the clouds opened up for the sun to peek through a bit.
A really love the additions you have hear. You didn't make it too long but you lengthened it enough and ended it for a fitting theme. I'm not sure about the first thunder strike, although as I listened through for a second time, I warmed up to it a bit. Might just be me though.
You really paint a picture of a character that is in some rough waters (heh...heh...) and I can really imagine the sort of person this guy is and how his luck takes a turn for the worst but in the end, hope shines through.
You really finished this one out and I wish you could submit this one because it is awesome and I think it would do very, very well in the competition. I'd say ask maestro, darkside, or rufio if you can submit it since you technically updated it.
Anyhow, nice job on the song, it's going on the fav's and hopefully you'll find it in yourself to ask about submitting it as an update. I don't think it'd be unfair.