I don't know what it was about this one, I don't like it so much.
First of all, your melody is... unique, but at the same time very annoying, in my opinion anyway.
It might be my hangover, or the melody gives me a headache.
I don't see much of a scale that this is based on, almost seems random.
The drums are okay, but kindof unoriginal, I've heard these drums so many times, did you use a loop for them? It sounds like it.
The song is not bad, but it's definately not good.
Practice with sequencing and scales, (and mastering) and you will be on a good path.