My review, your song.
Liked the gargling intro voice, not the soft one so much. They certainly were neat, but didn't really add much to the overall song.
The song is very segmented sounding, more like bits and pieces of patterns that are neat, but it doesn't add up.
The mix is good enough that there is no reason for complaint.
Tacking on a 4/4 kick drum would probably have made this a crowd pleaser for NG's likes. I'd recomend experimenting with some simple drum rhytmhns.
For learning to write songs, keep things simple so their cohesive. Its a very gradual process developing a style, and continuity. Don't be afraid or concerned about someting being too repetitiive, its usually a better result then something that is way too dynamic.
PM me when you upload some more stuff, I'll review it too, and more in depth since I'll have a bit of a notion of development/change from this peice.