keep on trying
I dont want to assume things but it seems that you are playing around with software for not that long. its a very good try but the lines are just... not finished, it is missing a kinda flavour which would give the song a real kick. After 1 minute it slighty gets better but still... no offence, making music is more difficult then people would admit.
Also I think its wise to keep this all in english, not dutch, otherwise people will flame ya for things cause they dont understand it...
Keep up the creativity, I am sure that if you learn how to arrange proper lines and sounds something good will happen :).