Hmm...
I think the song itself would be much better without the sur ur ur ur ender part that you had in there. Of course without it then it still wouldn't sound very good at all. So the overall sound of the song was just downright terrible, but the little smile that I get from listening to the song deserves a couple of points.
I think the best way to improve this one to improve the voice that says sur ur ur ur ender. I think it should be more of a deeper voice or even a computerized/robotic voice wouldn't sound too bad here. I also think the surrender should have just been said as surrender. It probably would of helped a lot if you would have included some more lyrics than just that one word too.
~ Review Request Club ~
mikkim 
