The story continues
Hm, interesting plot twist, seems like something that could be used as a beginning to a horror/thriller movie.
As for the music, I would suggest creating a louder, slower bass line to go beneath the sections before the third minute. Without a steady note in the background, such melodies often sound as though they were cut into pieces, especially since it does have a sort of 'jumping' note pattern.
Otherwise, it's good, really interesting to listen too along with the story.
P.S. Don't bother checking the Current Score, some A-holes are currently rating all new submissions on the Audio portal with 0s and 1s.