on the 3rd and 5th notes in your little set, there was a lwish not that sounded off key, and kinda hurt.
drums and stuff come in way too late, and sound too stock
try layering drums, like having 2 different claps play at once
and maybe with a snare
and 2 different kicks
i like your second riff you had, but things still need to build more, you need a stronger bass, if that was supposed to be a bass, and for the tempo and tone of the song, you might want it to seem slightly faster, so maybe a hi hat between the kicks
you dafinately have the right idea with this song in my oppinion, it just needs more to complete it
keep up the good work