I like the classic early 2000s rock feel at the beginning. The vocals are delivered well - nice conversational tone and articulation - and the lyrics have a good comedic value. The vocals could’ve been mixed a little further up-front, though. It’s hard to make out the lyrics at times, largely because the vocals aren’t staying on top of the texture too well. A little compression and some stricter equalization on the instrumental track might help make them stand out more, but admittedly my own experience with mixing live-recorded guitars is limited, so just be careful not to cut into their frequency range too much. That said, the composition here is really strong. The melodies are dynamic, your guitar skills are excellent, and the entire arrangement flows really nicely. The bridge at 2:01 is really hilarious and self-aware. The vocal layering during the last 20 seconds or so isn’t perfect - it just doesn’t blend very well, and might need to be re-recorded. Otherwise, this is a very well-executed composition. You remind me of @UlfusNG, who made a bunch of similar comedy songs back in the day. Keep at it, TofuTehSurvivor! ^_^

Mixing, mastering, and balance
1.25/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1.5/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.5/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
1/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.75/1
Composite score
8.75/10

close enough, welcome back weezer.