Track 12 from A Priest Among Pervs Comedy Album

A voice comedy about a new brand of toilet that promises to leave you spotless. Toilet humour at it's finest...or shittest depending on how you look at it. Voice over and BGM was created by me, while the sound effects were sourced from freesound.org

I created this voice comedy for April Fools Day this year (2023)

The Script:

Is your brown eye giving you the stink eye? Are you feeling unsatisfied with regular toilet paper? Are you spending way too much time wiping?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you should consider

Absorb-Ass! The only patented toilet paper that cleans you completely.

Put your faecal matters to rest, once and all with Absorb-Ass

The highly absorbent toilet paper that leaves your ass spotless

And your taint untainted

It works by using a newly discovered bacterium that eats all shit in sight

Leaving your anus unsoiled

You’ll even enjoy using Absorb-Ass as you feel the bacterium get to work

Making its way deeper into your rectum for a deeper clean

Absorb-Ass comes in both scented and unscented varieties to suit all bathroom types.

And because we a give a shit, we’ll even throw in a second pack for half price, but only stocks lasts

Absorb-Ass! For those that give a shit