Beautiful
This song is absolutely beautiful; no flaws whatsoever. Keep up the good work.
Author Comments
I've been working on this for a while. I started it in July and got about half of it written, then school started and progress was halted until this past christmas break when I was able to finish it. I still intend on having someone else sing it with me as a duet so this is just a rough draft. But it's how the song goes. I don't know if Goth is the right category for this but it seems close enough for it, especially the piano part at the end.
LYRICS-------------------
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You used to have a way with words.
You used to love my heart, that's why it hurts.
And every time I try to leave you,
I don't know what to do.
I don't get very far.
You have my only heart.
You never asked for anything that I could give.
Before you go let me tell you this.
I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul.
I never gave you anything to fear.
So why can't you just stay here?
I don't know what to do.
I'm part of who you are.
You have my only heart.
Like the air around me,
You are my breath.
I always thought
that this was until death.
I guess I was wrong
Cause there's nothing left.
I remember what we had
I remember nothing bad
I'm part of who you are
It's written in the stars.
You have my only heart.
Cayler responds:
Thank you!
Incredible
Excellent song. If I may make a suggestion, I would consider dropping the piano or the violins, or both at the line "Like the air around me" and continuing until after the line "I remember nothing bad". Then bring piano and violins back in and let them play for awhile before starting the line "I'm part of who you are". Also, I am not a fan of the abrupt instrumental ending, it needs more of a "closure" feeling.
Cayler responds:
Thank you, I'll definitely take that into consideration when I get around to redoing this song.
Incredible!
Your songs get to me man, I just can`t explain it.
A+
Keep it up!
Omni-Kron
Cayler responds:
Thanks!
Brilliant
I'm always a bit ary of songs on newgrounds that include vocals, they are either reall good or really bad and I'm glad to say yours is definately the first of the two. A beautiful and touching piece of work, well done.
Cayler responds:
Thank you, I'm glad that I'm one of the good guys on Newgrounds. lol I hope you enjoy my future works too. (:
Brilliant.
Your voice is like free cocktails at a conference, even if you're not really into what it's for, you go just for that. The difference is, what you make is actually really really amazing. By golly you are a talented coconut. This should maybe have been put in the category "Kick-ass". I think you could really push the music behind your voice. I mean there could be a real build up before the lines before and including "So why can't you just stay here?". Maybe a tiny bit of percussion for those instances or something might help, but it's brilliant either way.
Cayler responds:
Yes. Every time I listen to this in retrospect, I always feel like the music needs a whole lot more to really pull out the potential of the melody. When I redo it, I will add a lot more, but for this particular piece it's kinda hard to know exactly what I should do since I'm so familiar with the simplicity of it now. Basically it seems like it fits it theory the way it is now, but every time I listen I end up yearning for a lot more from the music. So I know that it needs more and where, but the idea of putting a bunch of percussion in this seems wrong at the moment, like I'd be taking the makeover a little too far. lol But I know that once I change it I'll get used to the new version and it'll be just fine.
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