It's here! Freshman Again is an alternative indie fusion of pop, punk, rock, and ska! This EP details my first few weeks of college as a (somewhat) closeted transgender woman. Moving on ahead in life, trying new things, meeting new people, and having new fears and frustrations. Also featuring a cover of "Rainbow" by Jeff Rosenstock, a major inspiration of mine!

SONGS

1 - Freshman Again

I get paranoid easily

I guess you already knew

When I sent you a message shortly after we talked saying

Hey man, cool it down with the attitude

You got me scared shitless

No more talking if you don't listen to Elliot Smith it is

A scary ass joke for my only friend to make

I'm a freshman again

One friend

Touch starved and desperate for affection

Another chance for me to

Make something of myself outside of the internet

I'm a freshman again

I lose control and I freak out

Over and over again

Over the lamest fucking shit that you can think of

Like missing my first day of history class

I'll email every student I guess

Turns out class ended early and I showed up late

Tears wasted at Mi Degollado for nothing

Free clothes

There's nothing good at The Good Shop

So I'll check it out, but how will I play it off

How about buying for friends

How about simply a joke

How about I'm lost and tired

Am I simply a joke

I'm a freshman again

One friend

Touch starved and desperate for affection

Another chance for me to

Make something of myself outside of the internet

I'm a freshman again

2 - It's Hard

3 - To Be Brave

It's hard to be brave

When bravery feels so dangerous

You're just trying to protect yourself

And all of your relationships

Some say you should really come out

But consider your situation first

I know things could get easier but things could get much worse

Just how far can you put yourself out there

Too scared to ask for anything to change

You look so unhappy and I wanna see you thrive

But sometimes that fear will keep you safe

Cause at any time that roof could go away

And sometimes you'll end up looking for a place to stay

And that's why it's so hard to be brave

I think I saw Olivia, I think that was her face

Now I'm thinking up an ice breaker, I'm thinking what to say

Then I remember what I told her freshman year of high school

Remembering how things had changed

How I never saw the same face

When she left, she didn't have much to say

And that's why it's so hard to be brave

I think I like this new guy, I've been thinking different ways

Tell my brother, and he tells me that he asked and he is straight

And I remember that most straight men see an MTF as gay

And it's been a few weeks since I shaved my face

And despite what I do I'm the same

Even if I shave my face and my legs

So I've been thinking what cards I can play if any

And that's why it's so hard to be brave

4 - Trans Panic

There's nothing scarier than two girls laughing to themselves

There's nothing scarier than seeing them look around

There's nothing scarier to people like me

Than dating complications in how people perceive

How I affect their sexuality

They see a gateway drug to homosexuality

Don't ask, don't tell

Don't look like a faggot if the vibe isn't well

A short list of locations

Involves surface level friends, the public, and your common sense

There's nothing scarier than introductions to a crowd

She says that's a good stage name, I like the sound

I choke back the urge to choke on my words

And I never even open my mouth

To say that's not a stage name, I've been waiting to say it out loud

Have fun, but not too much

Don't be there completely, and don't loosen up

If they're friendly, and inviting

The chance of everything backfiring still feels like too much

5 - SPLITS

Maybe if I crossed my eyes

I could see them both at the same time

I'm not just one being

So I'm sleeping with myself tonight

I'm not very good at cuddling

Not very good at comfortable positions

I am the reverb

That drowns itself out, out itself in

I see an echo in the mirror, she says what I say backwards

Backwards, say I what says she

Forward into collision with backward

Into collision with echo

Into collision with myself

Into collision with herself

Into collision with himself

Into collision with ourself

Into collision with separate

Into collision

Conjoining into a nameless car crash

Conjoining into a nameless car crash

I'll make a map by putting X's on separate locations

I'll draw a plan by covering a whiteboard in all black

I'll draw my face as I see it, incomprehensible

I'll separate my left and right eyes

Inside and outside, I am not the name I hold

Not my expectations, I am not my norm

Inside and outside, I am not the name I know

I will change it for the better, I will change it for the better

If it's war you want

It is war you got

We will never settle down

If it's war you want

It is war you got

We will never settle down

6 - Rainbow (Jeff Rosenstock Cover)

Progress reaches down from the sky

(Where can I go when it always finds me?)

Dropping bins and couches on the curb outside

(Where can I go when it always finds me?)

Please don't take my love away!

My home from me today!

We'll spend the weekend filling the holes

And caulking the cracks that stretch across the ceiling

While the economic disaster destroys all the color and life

As it slowly moves southeast and I'm like a magnet pulling the storm

Oh, where can I move when it always finds me?

Where else can I stay?

There's a storm cloud pissing rainbows

On the cubes that blossomed on our old street

As the vultures walk the power lines

They're looking for something to eat

They wanna hear us scream

"We ain't got no money, we ain't got no money!

You got me!

Please don't take my love away!

My home from me today!"

Inside and outside, I am not the name I hold

Not my expectations, I am not my norm

Inside and outside, I am not the name I know

I will change it for the better, I will change it for the better

7 - 40mg CBD Candy

I got 40mg CBD candy

After sucking it, I bit it, and I just felt nothing

Now I really wish I had it on me

And enough of it to knock me out

I bought a bag of weed, actually, it's CBD

And after asking how to take it, some swisher sheets

And Jerry said to save it for a rainy day

So I might go buy a lighter and hope that it does something for me

(What will I tell the cops if I have no receipt?)

(If I cover the smoke alarm, will someone, somewhere see?)

(I want something stronger, I want something worse)

(No shoulders to lean on, no one to contact first)

I wanted to try a hallucinogenic

At first it was for fun, but I'm getting desperate

Do any of you have some illegal shit?

Cause I don't have romantic relationships

And I've been thinking about THC

Yeah, I've been thinking about fake IDs

And I've been thinking about what all these things could do for me

I got 40mg CBD candy

After sucking it, I bit it, and I just felt nothing

Now I really wish I had it on me

And enough of it to knock me out

I got 40mg CBD candy

After sucking it, I bit it, and I just felt nothing

Now I really wish I had it on me

And enough of it to knock me out

(Lord only knows I don't know how to cope)

(But God knows I know how to take things every day without thinking)

(It's honestly my specialty)

(I got 40mg CBD candy)

(After sucking it, I bit it, and I just felt nothing)

(Now I really wish I had it on me)

(And enough of it to knock me out)

STREAMING

Listen and share on Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/album/3xEV4ClWhAjY0ruZkN96XK

Download and buy on Bandcamp - https://friendhell.bandcamp.com/album/freshman-again

Listen and share on Youtube - https://youtu.be/d88PvFoJuNQ

Buy on iTunes - https://music.apple.com/us/album/freshman-again/1644680393

SHARING

Hey, do you want to support this release and spread the word? Why not print out this mysterious little poster and hang it somewhere around your area? Tape it to a stall, tape it on a pole, it doesn't matter! Show your support and spread the word with a promotional flyer!

Be sure to keep in touch for my upcoming split EP w/ HappyHappy!