While I like it, it needs a lot more variation. I can barely hear it, also.
One thing I'll give it is that it definitely paints pictures in my head.
but strangely pretty good...
Weird intro, not the most entertaining thing, but good stuff in general. I like the queerish melodyish and "spacey" sound...I especially like when you chop it up-but I think the intro was generally overdrawn out. when you come in with the percussion and sound effects it sounds really strange but in a nice way. When the next synth comes in, trying lowering the decay on the reverb as its a little bit too overpowering and awkward sounding over the mix. (I really do dig the sound though) Or atleast, try to put some reverb on the starting sounds to balance the mix out.
Another thing you may try want to do is reduce the repetiveness, try mixing up the composition more, add some louder synths or cut the overall track length down.
The intro and the end are too similar, and melodically wise, you could spice it with a wider array of sounds to make your track more interesting throughout.
The bassdrum needs to be louder, and you need to mix up the rhythm and note velocities more to make it sound less cheap. Also try to add more percussion samples in here, or just make a drum beat with hi hats and a snare.
Overall tho here, unique composition. Interesting music nevertheles here mate, I wish I was this good at three days! (hope I wasnt being to harsh)